Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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