I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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