You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
