It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
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I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
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I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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