is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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