I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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