Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
