I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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