Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
