Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
