My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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