She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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