We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize