youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
