1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm too high and old for this...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
