please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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