I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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