The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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