even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
