I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
