I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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