I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Randomize
