great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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