walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
