Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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