Your dad touched me again.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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