Duck Duck Cougar?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize