4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
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In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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