based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
