i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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