Sponge bath it is.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
