So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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