Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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