Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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