tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
