where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize