dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
