Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
