how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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