omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
