So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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