You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.