His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
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My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
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U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything