Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.

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  (505): I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled. http://tfl.nu/wz50
  Replies (11) Good night (2786) Bad night (479)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion

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  (215): I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion http://tfl.nu/gpfj
  Replies (68) Good night (4577) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"

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  (814): he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career" http://tfl.nu/95bq
  Replies (14) Good night (1025) Bad night (2521) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with

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  (978): imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with http://tfl.nu/3tvk
  Replies (26) Good night (1314) Bad night (4787) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time

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  (512): Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time http://tfl.nu/c4as
  Replies (19) Good night (4782) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.

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  (708): Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think. http://tfl.nu/wg4r
  Replies (20) Good night (3932) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.

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  (858): She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/gw51
  Replies (10) Good night (3317) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.

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  (601): If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender. http://tfl.nu/eg99
  Replies (1) Good night (1767) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  DIN'T JUSGE NE.

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  (360): DIN'T JUSGE NE. http://tfl.nu/13q1
  Replies (15) Good night (4081) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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  (330): i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait. http://tfl.nu/bv41
  Replies (15) Good night (2696) Bad night (796)
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  (310): View more from California

  I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.

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  (310): I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship. http://tfl.nu/r05o
  Replies (7) Good night (1637) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

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  (231): Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted. http://tfl.nu/tphx
  Replies (29) Good night (1030) Bad night (3638) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I believe they call that patchouli.

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  (631): Whatever she smells like compost and feathers. (508): I believe they call that patchouli. http://tfl.nu/ql5w
  Replies (7) Good night (463) Bad night (581)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.

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  (425): I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings. http://tfl.nu/8k6q
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (113) Order T-Shirt
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.

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  (915): I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday. http://tfl.nu/5xu3
  Replies (5) Good night (147) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt

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