I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
