so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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