if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
