turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
organizing the empties. That sober.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
