Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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