it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
