The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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