Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize